Monday, November 12, 2012

Victoria's Secret

A couple of nights ago, I logged into Facebook to discover that my newsfeed had been infected by a disease. A disease called the Victoria's Secret annual fashion show.

I'm sorry (actually, I'm not sorry), but what are these girls doing? Walking down a catwalk with seedy businessmen seated in the front row shopping for a new trophy girlfriend. Yes, girls, you're hot, but BOY do you know it. You know it so well that you make me want to stick pins in my eyes and throw a brick at my head. I would rather watch slugs humping than watch that entire fashion show.

I will admit that I've been to Victoria's Secret in the States. Really nice bras. But those models, my god. There are models, and then there are the Victoria's Secret "angels". That show is purely a convention for the most incredibly vain women on the planet. They say "I got discovered xoxoxox". No, you think you're the biggest babe on the planet, and you were so confident in your hottness that you initiated a modelling career. You look at women out there changing the world, fighting for justice; girls fighting for an education in third-world countries, and then you look at these girls shaking their vain asses in front of the world. Kudos.

"YEAH GURLZ! WE'RE CHANGING DA WELRD ONE CATWALK AT A TYME! OXOXOXX"

"TYME FOR OUR HAVIN FUN FACESZ!! YEH I GOT BULLIED IN SCHOOL DUUN EVA BULLY PEOPLE!"

"TYME TO SHOW OFF MA BOOTY TO GUARANTEE NEXT JOB!!! TEHEZZZ MY CAREER IS GUNNA ENDING IN 2 YEARZZZZZ "