Monday, April 23, 2012


This is what I am going to be able to say in four years time. I know it's too late to compete in the London Olympics later this year, but fast-forward four years and I'm going to be on your TV screens, standing on the podium with a gold medal around my neck. You're probably thinking "Uhmmmm...since when has Chloe been so amazing at sport? From what I gather the only exercise she does is walking up stairs...". Well, my friend. I have news for you. Not only am I hoping to compete in the next Olympics, but I want YOU to compete with me. I don't care if your sporting career only involves a two month stint at hockey, or being referee in a PE lesson. I don't care if you can't remember the last time you kicked a ball. I'm talking about a new Olympic sport. A revolution in the history of the Olympics.

I'm talking about Frolicking.

For those who live under a rock and are unfamiliar with the awesome awesomeness of the art of Frolicking, here are the results of my Google search for the definition of Frolicking.
1. (of an animal or person) Play and move about cheerfully, excitedly, or energetically.
2. Play about with someone in a flirtatious or sexual way.
The second definition is completely irrelevant to my proposed Olympic sport, so please pretend you never read that. I should have just deleted it, but it's funny (I'm immature like that).

In plain terms, to 'Frolick', you simply have to skip freely, occasionally leap, move your arms freely, smile like you're on drugs, and just generally look like you're messed up. Now you're probably wondering how I'm going to pitch this as an Olympic advice? Continue reading.

FROLICKING AS AN OLYMPIC SPORT1. The playing field will be a literal field. I'm talking long grass. I'm talking daisies. It will be a long rectangle (about the size of a swimming pool), with grand-stands lining each side. Oh, and in the semi-finals and grand-finals there will be obstacles such as big rocks and cows. Yes. Moving cows.

2. There will be two categories: Solo and Duo. For the Solo, the individual will be given five minutes to complete their 'Frolicking Routine' to their selected song (I think the ultimate one would be any song from the Sound of Music, 'I'm walking on Sunshine' or perhaps Bohemian Rhapsody). In the Duo category, the proceedings are the same except that there are TWO competitors (Deeeeerp).

3. The competitors will be judged on the following:
A) Fluidity and freedom of arms and leg movements (Marks will be deducted for awkwardness)
B) Use of space
C) The way the competitor reacts to the obstacles
D) How genuine their smile looks
E) The way they interact with the landscape/nature (E.g. Skimming hands along the tall grass whilst skipping/Picking a Daisy and smelling it whilst skipping)
F) Height obtained whilst skipping
G) For the Duo category: How the competitors interact with each other

4. Ways to get disqualified:
A) You're on LSD or Weed (These are the 'Frolicking' equivalent to the other sports' competitors' illegal use of steroids)B) You have springs in your shoes
C) You stand still for more than five seconds
D) Your facial expression changes to one other than 'Incredibly Happy'

So there you have it folks. My new campaign to make Frolicking an Olypmic sport. If you wish to join my team, please click here to watch a 'Frolicking 101', which is a highly educational video made by fellow Frolickers (Who knows-we might be competing against these guys in four years...)