Sunday, May 27, 2012

The Hunger Games.

I finished The Hunger Games. Despite my early cynicism, it ended up being really good. Like really, really good. As in I nearly cried at the end, and after I had finished it I found myself YouTube-ing 'Katniss and Peeta kiss" just to see if the movie version reached my expectations. It did. However, a fundamental problem remains: Everyone has seen the movie so I have no-one to see it with. Awks. I guess I'll go by myself and embrace my forever-alone-ness? Cry with my coke and popcorn and all that. 

1. I would scream and run in the very first second. I'm scared of the movie Scooby Doo 2, so you can imagine my reaction to being placed in this situation. When it comes to fight or flight, I'm a definite flight gal, so instead of attempting to take some resources from the bucket at the very beginning (this won't make sense if you haven't read it/seen the movie), I would run in the opposite direction and thus have no food/resources whatsoever. 
2. I have absolutely no skills, meaning that I wouldn't be able to hunt, meaning that I wouldn't have any food. 
3. I have terrible reflexes.
4. I'd be lured into deceptive 'alliances' because I'm the most gullible person to walk on this planet. If a fellow competitor offered me to stay in their cave for the night, chances are I wouldn't realise they wanted to kill me and instead think "omigawd someone is nice around here!! We can be friendzzz n gossip about da hotties in da competition and play truth or dare <3 <3". I'm so gullible that my friend once told me that researchers discovered that an octopus isn't an animal but two jellyfish mating. I believed them. Not exactly the high point of my life thus far. 
5. I'm picky with food...I would only dead squirrels if I was a minute away from dying from starvation..
6. No coffee. Enough said.
7. I would be distracted by attractive guys in the competition. I'd be thinking something like "WOW he looks just like Francisco Lachowski...I'd tap dat" when WHAM an arrow goes through my head. 
8. I wouldn't be able to kill anyone, and if I hurt someone I'd run to apologise and then they'd stab me in the back. 
9. I wouldn't be able to handle being filmed all the time for TV. Not because it's an invasion of personal space, but because I'd be constantly fixing my hair/adjusting my clothes to look good on TV. This is an issue of high importance. 
10. I'd put a 10th reason but I think the ones listed above are more than enough to convince you that I wouldn't last a second. 

I will now leave you with a video that made me laugh a lot. I want a fainting goat.