Letter of hate to Extension English

I do not care about Textual Dynamics I do not care about Foucault’s notion of the shifting identity I do not care about Derrida’s theory of differénce I do not care about Judith Butler’s theory of gender as a performance I do not care about Sally Potter’s Orlando and if Orlando is male or female I do not care how Calvino utilises metafiction I do not care if he uses playful devices because ultimately it’s just a book and I do not care if Orlando challenges certainties because it’s just a film and watching movies is supposed to be enjoyable.

I can confirm that the subject made me cry yesterday. YES. DID YOU HEAR THAT EXTENSION ENGLISH? YOU CAN CLAIM A CHLOE MELTDOWN. I called my Mum, and you know when people are so nice that they make you cry even more? Yeah, that's what happened. Ten minutes after I hung up, she sent me a text saying "Listen for the doorbell", and when it rung I opened it to find Mum's best friend with a delivery of coffee and macaroons. It did put a smile on my face.

This week is going to be terrible, so I'm going to neglect this blog until Friday. On Friday I'll officially be free and have the freedom to post as much random crap/rants/photos/videos as I want! Wooooo. I should really be studying right now but when Chloe needs to rant, she rants. Until then, read all of my old posts from last year because they're hilariously lame.

Imma miss youse all. Until Friday,
Chloe x

P.S. I have this friend called Chris and he went to the school next door to mine and he's really tall and plays basketball and volleyball (I think?) and is really good at high jump and can jump over bars that are higher than me and he says that I don't mention him on my blog enough so hi Chris, hope you're well and engaging in lots of studying!

WILL I EVER FALL OUT OF LOVE WITH THIS MAN?

"She’s reinventing loving me
When we’re resembling cutlery on the sofa"


.....When we're resembling cutlery on the sofa. Ed Sheeran is pure genius. 

Nothing stands between me and the week of doom next week.

Except a lot of trips to get coffee...
Next week's HSC exams:
31st: Extension English (Don't even get me started on that (insert expletive) of a subject...I have to write an essay which is impossible to memorise because I have no idea what I'm even talking about, and a creative piece which is equally impossible to memorise because it's as boring as hell and my eyes start to twitch with tiredness whenever I look at it).
1st November: Modern History (AKA 3 hours of torture. The two essay questions could literally be on anything to do with the two topics....kill me now?).
3rd November: Legal Studies and History Extension. (That day is going to be so bad that I don't even know what words are capable of capturing such horror. Let's just say that if I don't survive that day then I loved you all...even if only one of you left a message for me on my Tumblr).
3rd November at 4.00: FRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDOOMM. No more school/exams/study/stress.

On a lighter note, WE MADE IT ONTO PAGE 3 OF THE SYDNEY MORNING HERALD. As in, you opened up the Herald and BAM! There was our article. Despite the photo being as awkward as hell (think pretend conversation...plus me grinning like a serial killer), the article was really good AND I GOT QUOTED. LIKE A BOSS. Click here to read the article!

Tiredness

1. I can't stop listening to Ed Sheeran.
2. I really don't care enough about Soviet Russia to write essays on it right now.
3. I just had a piece of amazing stick-date pudding.
4. I'm starting yoga again.
5. I'm enjoying writing this list of pointless things because it means that I don't have to write essays on Soviet Russia.
6. I want to sign up to start traditional Scottish country dancing.
7. I'm extremely over tired. HSC=Emotionally draining.
8. The new video chat on Facebook is a dream come true. Neither Eleni nor my sounds works so we just look at each other pointlessly/write messages on pieces of paper.
9. I like starting each sentence with I.
10. Since I disabled my Formspring SEND ME CUTE MESSAGES ON MY TUMBLR! Some of you have already, and when you do it makes my day (like seriously, it does). Just click on the link 'TUMBLR' on the top of this page and then follow the link and then click on the ASK box on my Tumblr and then write a cute message or a joke or a link to a song or a poem of a random image or a picture of a squirrel in a dress or a letter declaring your ever-lasting love for me (preferably that one) and then finish typing it and then add a smiley face or a winky face and then click send and then wait for my reply and then I'll reply and then it'll be awesome. Write it on anonymous, or from your Tumblr is you have one (I'll follow you back ;) ), whatever tickles your fancy.WUB CHUU.

I'm finally admitting it.

I'm in love.
With a guy.
His name is Ed Sheeran, and he's a 20 year old British singer from the UK.
And he's a ranga.
And and and he has THE MOST PERFECT VOICE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. Like seriously.Life 'aint fair. 
WHAT IS IT ME WITH ME AND MY SOFT SPOT FOR BRITISH SINGERS.
His music and the lyrics in them are just jguiospdfhnguiosdjghiosdfmngiogjniofdjgiodsf. I hope I described it well enough.
Click here to hear what may or may not be the most romantic song in the entire world. 
This one is also one of my favourites.


Just in case you haven't fallen in love with him yet, I'll post ONE MORE.



P.S. Today I went to buy a chocolate from a vending machine and it took my money AND DIDN'T GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN $%^$#&* CHOCOLATE. There goes my coffee for tomorrow....

ANTI-CLIMAX OF A LIFETIME

So it turns out the HSC isn't too bad. I've done three exams so far, and although Drama was a bit "Why did they go out of their way to produce a bad question", the others haven't been too bad! They weren't easy, but they were do-able. The Hamlet question was a bit awkward seeing as though I couldn't remember much of the END of the play (which is what the question was on....), but now it's over I can't do anything about it so I'm not going to worry about it! So glad/relieved that English is over-forcefully chucking all my notes in the recycling bin in the common room was QUITE liberating to say the least.  Oh, and I'm going to be in an article next week with some of my friends about high-school students who dropped maths and science for the HSC! We even had our photo taken (cue awkward pretend conversation).

Things I have discovered in the past few days:
-I need to get out and go for runs/get fit, I've COMPLETELY lost balance and I need to restore it! ASAP!
-My love for Cinnamon scrolls from a new bakery near my house. TO DIE FOR.
-Enrique Inglesias: He's a singer (you all probably know of him), who during one of his songs he performs at his concert, invites a fan girl on stage and serenades her. You're probably thinking "WHAT IS SO COOL ABOUT THAT!?". Hmmmm well maybe the fact that at the end of the song HE KISSES THE FAN GIRL. LIKE HOOKS UP WITH HER. Why can't any of the bands/singers that I love do that! So not fair.
-I really, really, really want to see the movie Midnight in Paris once my exams are over (yes, I know it sounds like the name of Paris Hilton's sex tape). It got the most AMAZING review in the Sydney Morning Herald, and after watching the trailer I've officially decided that it's my movie to see after the HSC. Here's the trailer!

OK............

SO MY HSC STARTS THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HSC IS BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY/YOU LIVE UNDER A ROCK/IN NARNIA THEN GOOGLE IT IF YOU WANT TO READ ABOUT A SYNONYM FOR TORTURE.

Ok, so it's unfolding to be not be all that bad. This time last year I was thinking to myself "Om@gawwwddd 'dis tyme nxt year imM@ b333 freakin oUttt I think a justification for my relative calmness is:
a) My first three exams aren't too bad (in fact, they're probably the easiest out of all of them)
b) I've been studying my ass off. Quite literally.

In more exciting news, I've been having really weird dreams. I wrote them down so I could write them here.
TWO NIGHTS AGO: I was doing my English HSC exam, and basically they had changed the rules so parents and friends could come and stand next to you and support you. Sounds nice, but basically all of them wouldn't stop talking, so I couldn't concentrate. Next thing I knew, time was up and I hadn't written anything.

LAST NIGHT: I moved to London, and after escaping a near-death experience where I was caught in a flood of water, I safely arrived outside the place where I was to meet my 'boyfriend' for dinner. He turns up, and his name is Demitruis, goes to my friend's school, is a drama kid, obsessed with Thai pork, and wouldn't stop sitting in my lap. When we were having dinner, George Craig and his friend called 'Fish' (My brain thinks of weird names) came and joined us at our table (Yes, Demitruis was still seated in my lap....), and I specifically remember that George was wearing a jacket with abnormally large 'spikes'. The end.

I am off to return to my cave of study-dom. Mum turned up to my room today with a coffee, cinnamon scroll, new stationary and tea from T2. Turns out if you're doing the HSC you get special treatment. I like it.

Regards,
Chloe

Pure amazingness.

Janet Devlin for winner of X-Factor UK! SHE IS SO AMAZING AND TALENTED GNIJDSFNGLIHJKFDNGJFD. Oh, and I want her hair. I could actually listen to this rendition of Fix You a million times and not get sick of it.

Things you learn from babysitting

When I was babysitting a 3 year old on Saturday (I babysit her every week), it was raining so we spent the majority of the time watching movies/TV. The things you can take away from children shows/movies are quite valuable.
1. When watching Bananas in Pajamas, I began to write a response to the episode in relation to my English topic "Belonging", as practice for the HSC. Here is my response. Oohhhh I make my self laugh.
In the Bananas and Pajama's episode "Collecting", B1 and B2 wish to fulfill their desire of playing with Rat in the Hat and Lulu, however both characters are preoccupied with their 'collections'. B1 and B2 feel ostracised from their friends due to the fact that neither banana has a collection, such a feeling of isolation and the subsequent pressure to conform manifested in B1's statement that "Everyone has collections so we want one too!". B1 and B2 struggle to conform to societal expectations as they try and fail to collect various items in the hope of achieving the satisfaction that 'collecting' is seen to achieve. Upon recognising the hardships the two bananas are experiencing in their battle to conform and their need to retain a sense of self identity, Lulu comforts them, stating that "You shouldn't do it because everyone else does it!". Thus the bananas realise that the rejection of the collective entails personal liberation, and spend the rest of the day playing happily with Lulu and Rat in the Hat.
Hahahahaha oh dear. I should really get a life. 
2. In the movie 'Robots' (which I think I enjoyed more than the 3 year old), the main character strives by the belief "See a need, fill a need". I think that that really resonates with me, in regards to thinking about what I want to do with my life. Making the world a better place for someone/people. I LOVE CHILDREN'S MOVIES <3 (Yeah, I'm pathetic. Wot 0f it)
3. In Ice Age (we watched number one, the sequel, then number one again), the sloth, Sid, says to the mammoth "My friend, you've got to let go of your past if you want a better future". HOW GOOD IS THAT QUOTE! I should really spend more time watching children's movies.
4. We watched the show Yo-Gabba-Gabba, and IT'S SO GOOD! It's like a really funky childrens show. Here is a song which was on the episode that we watched, and it was so catchy I found myself singing it the next day. Skip to 38 seconds!

GRADUAL BUILD UP OF TENSION UNTIL IT EXPLODES

I don't know why I made that the heading....oh wait, MY HSC STARTS IN 10 DAYS! Yeah, you heard right. Ten. T-E-N. The number that when written backwards spells NET.
So yeah, that's what's been distracting me from blogging over the past few days. I've been studying like a maniac, drinking waaaayyy (and I mean waaaayyy) to much coffee, sleeping, eating, and then filling in the gaps in my life with more studying.
Over the past couple of days, however, I've been compiling a list of random things to write about when I eventually logged back on to Blogger.com.
1. The other day, I don't know why, but I began thinking about the video 'World's Biggest Pimple'. Thinking about the video turned me off food for the rest of the day. Click here if you haven't seen it.
2. A couple of days ago I walked into my room and sat at my desk to find a GIANT cardboard box. On the top  of it, there was a note saying "To my dearest Chloe, from your lover".  I opened it to find a mouldy sandwich, that was so incredibly mouldy that it was entirely (ENTIRELY) green, with patches of BLACK and PINK. PINK MOULD. It was like a rainbow of mould.  Thanks Phoebe xoxoxoxox
3. I was really saddened to hear of Steve Job's death. I knew that he had recently resigned from Apple and was terminally ill, but I didn't understand the severeness of his cancer, thinking that we'd all see him continue on to do great things in the near future. My Facebook news feed was full of Steve Job-related status updates, and I was pretty disappointed to see people making jokes about his death. I don't really see what's funny about a man dying from cancer...One status was so incredibly stupid and shallow that I saved it so I could post it on here: "steve jobs definitely isnt a revolutionary or genius, apple just made certain things before other people". What just topped off the status was his friend's comment:  "yeh he just invented things for hipsters. oh wait he didn't invent them. but some guy did". A) Apple made "certain things before other people" BECAUSE Steve Jobs was a creative genius. B) As for his friend's comment....how about you learn to make sense before you be disrespectful/not funny? However, among these statuses (or whatever the plural of status is), my friend posted a quote from Steve Jobs which I printed out and stuck next to my desk. "Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything-all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure-these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important  Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart". RIP Steve Jobs.
4. At Edmunds and Greer, a new waiter secretly gave me free macaroons with our coffees. Needless to say, I officially have a new favourite waiter.
5. Whilst I was studying yesterday, my Nan called me up and asked if I wanted to get out of the house. I accepted her offer, and ended up having a lovely day! We went to the nursery where she chose some new flowers (and where there were numerous sexy tradies), and then went and had a coffee/caramel slice. I LOVE GRANDMAS <3.
6. My Dad's deaf friend came over for dinner the other night, and he communicates to people via notepads. It got me thinking-imagine having every conversation you ever had stored in notepads? Like a library of your conversations. 
7. You may notice some changes on the blog- I've had this layout for a LONG time (as in ever since I started the blog), and I might play around with a few things to make it look a bit sexier (well as sexy as blogs can get). Have patience! (Knowing me I'll stuff the whole thing up and my blog will look like a blank powerpoint). 

AWKIEZ

Ok, so I'm about 99% sure this is the longest I have ever gone without updating my blog. I kind of feel like a parent who has neglected their children.
REASONS AS TO WHY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN NEARLY A WEEK:
1. Hmmmm let's see.....MAYBE THE FACT THAT MY HSC STARTS IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!!????? Yeah, this time in two weeks I would have finished my first HSC exam. Scary thought, but what's a tad more exciting is that this time in a MONTH, I'll be enjoying my first day of freedom! 
2. Study
3. Study
4. Busy stalking One Direction (Yeah....going through a bit of a boy-band phase. However, I believe that no teenage girl should be deprived of the 'fangirling phase. Take it as you will). 
5. Study

So yeah, I hope I have sufficiently justified my lack of presence. However, due to my lack of updates I have quite a lot to say in this post (please excuse my bullet-pointing which has become a common sight on this blog...if they continue feel free to give me a cyber-slap):
1. SHANE WARNE AND ELIZABETH HURLEY GETTING ENGAGED?? I don't really know what to write apart from an excessive amount of exclamation and question marks. He is probably one of the most revolting people on the planet-just look at the plastic surgery he's had since he's started dating her. Oh wait, sorry, he said that his physical changes (which have made him look like a life-size Ken doll gone wrong) are merely results of him using a great "skin creme that Elizabeth put me onto!". I'm pretty sure no-one is going to want to buy that skin creme if it makes us look like that....
2. I saw a great movie last night called Crazy Stupid Love. I watched the trailer before I went, and it looked kind of boring, but I'm all for shallow romantic comedies (especially when you're an emotionally unstable HSC student). I chose the movie, and before it started I whispered to Phoebe and Eleni "If it's a piece of crap, I apologising in advance!". When the movie finished, we were all so surprised at how funny/enjoyable it was. Not only is Ryan Gosling a B-A-B-E, but it's just a fun, not-too-deep-not-too-shallow movie. High fives all round.
3. I've discovered the best pen in the world, and I've ordered Dad out to buy 6 packets of them for my HSC. They're the...prepare for wanky pen name...BIC 4+ 05. You actually get addicted to writing with it (or maybe it's just me), and I used up 2 pens in two days just from writing everything out because it's just so fun to write with.
4. Collingwood lost the grand final. We had an E-P-I-C grand final party, with black and white food, streamers, and balloons....and then they lost. My little brother, who is the most DEDICATED Collingwood fan (he even has Collingwood undies), was lying in front of the TV crying, saying "Collingwood how *sniff* could you *sniff*  do this to meeeeee *sniff*"
5. My idiocy was highlighted when I did my university preferences. Only after I had submitted them did I realise that
a) The lowest entry ATAR I had on it was 94
b) For I put the wrong code, which meant a random course was put on my preferences
Luckily I was able to log back on the next day and fix everything. Submitting them was scary....I finally had to face what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'm really happy with my preferences (I'd love any of them), but the courses I REALLY want to get into have very high entry ATARS, and when I was submitting these courses I realised how much pressure I've put on myself. I guess a bit of pressure can be advantageous, but I've got to be careful not to stress myself out too much!

Anywho, I'm off to study some more (JUST THINK CHLOE IN ONE MONTH IT'LL BE ALL OVER!!! W0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0), and I'll remain in hibernation until tonight, when I'm going out for dinner, and then will retreat back to my cave until Friday, for a friend's barbeque.
Love your hibernating friend,
Chloe